Sometimes it easier to give advice to someone outside yourself, with that in mind I often try to think of myself as a separate person, someone I can give advice to without the internal conflict of my actual feelings at the moment. I’m getting married tomorrow, and it felt like a good time to write myself a little letter, a little reminder to enjoy the day.
It’s finally here, the big day, the one you have dreamed of in some small form since you were a little girl, the one that you have tirelessly planned and scrutinized over for the past 11 and half months, the one in which you become a Mrs. and officially become a wife to the man you have grown to love and cherish for the past 7 years. I know you thought this day was never going to get here, that the late nights stressing over all the little details felt like they were never going to end, but it’s here, you made it!
Now I need you to take a deep breath, no, no, deeper, breath in… out… there you go, keep doing that. All day whenever you feel those butterflies swirling around, your stomach flip, your brain grow fuzzy, the thoughts of trying to control the day start drifting into your brain, come back to this, breath in… out… in… out… take a second, look around you, squeeze Bryan’s hand tighter, lean in to your father, hug your maid of honor, let your mother kiss you on the cheek, smell the flowers in your bouquet, dance up on your bridesmaid, laugh with the groomsmen, take a sip of wine, joke around with your brother, give a goofy grin to your photographer, repeat those vows you picked to yourself, and just be present in the moment.
It will be so tempting to double (even triple, quadruple) check the schedule you spent hours perfecting to make sure everything is going as planned, I know, I know how your brain works, but don’t do it. You will want to make sure all the decorations are in order, all the escort cards lined up, all the guests enjoying themselves, but don’t worry yourself with any of these things. You have spent so many hours, so many days planning, nights stressing, all so that on this day you could relax and enjoy the day, so let yourself. When the anxiety hits, because we know it will, take a deep breath, count the reasons you love Bryan, and sink into the day. Let the makeup artist do her job and pamper you, let the day of coordinator do hers and run the show, let your bridesmaids do theirs and shield you from whatever is going on, let all of those vendors and plans you put so much effort into show you how amazing they all are.
And when something inevitably goes wrong, whether your dress rips, you trip down the aisle, the flowers never show up, it pours down rain, or the DJ plays the wrong song for your first dance, whatever it may be, laugh at it, remember that this is the story you will tell your children some day when they are stressing over their own wedding. Remember that this is the moment that you will cherish later and laugh at for years to come. Remember that this day is about love, not the details it has felt like it was about for the past year.
Most of all, enjoy yourself, let yourself be swept away by the love pouring out around you. Kiss Bryan longer, hug him harder, smile bigger, laugh louder, dance bolder, be freer than you have been ever before. This day is the first day of a new and exciting chapter in your life, kick it off with joy.
Congratulations Mrs. Holzer, you and Bryan deserve all the love on this day and all the days to come!